Taking Comfort in the Three Jewels

Weeks like this make me very glad that I have a spiritual community to gather with, a community that reminds me that there are many other like-minded individuals in the world so I don’t feel alone and that we have a safe place when we are in need. After all, they say there’s safety in numbers and the events of this week have certainly made many of us, especially in my community, afraid. As part of the Sunday Service someone reads the Daily Word, which not uncommonly, is uniquely fitting to that particular day despite the fact that the word is chosen far in advance. Today was one such day. Today’s word was Comfort.

Whether or not you believe in a Divine Source, or Spirit, or God, or any of the other words used to describe the same thing, we can all take comfort from our surroundings. Whether that’s a family member, a partner, a friend, a pet, or a spectacular sunrise. When we allow ourselves to be open to love, compassion and beauty we will find it anywhere we look.

When I need to feel comforted I have grown to taking refuge. Only now, looking up the origin of that word, do I fully, consciously, understand why this feels good to me.
Refuge: a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger,             or trouble.
From the Latin refugium “place to flee back to”
Taking refuge helps bring me back to the calm center even when it feels like a storm is raging around me. It reminds me not to believe every thought that I have and to be mindful of what I think, what I say and what I do.

Taking refuge can be done by anyone, at any time, you don’t have to be Buddhist, and can be quite comforting when you are in need. I often use it as a way of making sure my head is in the right frame of mind, right being the frame of mind I consciously want to cultivate, before leaving the house for the day. If you are not Buddhist, or have not heard of the Three Jewels before, let me explain them in common terms that may help you begin to familiarize yourself with the practice. Should you choose to try this practice for yourself, feel free to substitute the words Buddha, Dharma and Sangha with words that have similar meaning to you; taking refuge should be personal and meaningful.

I take Refuge in the Buddha

Buddha is not actually a God as some believe, but a human being who has gained enlightenment. A Buddha, the Awakened One, is a teacher, a spiritual guide and role model. Most commonly when someone refers to the Buddha these days, they are referring to Siddharta Gautama, who was known as Shakyamuni Buddha after his enlightenment. It is said that his compassion knew no bounds. He encouraged students to get to know themselves, to look at the causes of suffering honestly and work, through non-harming, service to others and kindness, to not only ease or erase their own suffering but to ease that of others as well. There have been many Buddhas and there will be many more because every one of us has a Buddha nature within us that we are free to nurture and grow into our own awakening.

If this word, Buddha, however is not comfortable to you, feel free to substitute any word or name of the figure or person whom you feel a strong connection to, who you feel is your primary role model. Thinking of the compassion that the Buddha demonstrated to all beings is a reminder to me of who I want to be as a human.

I take Refuge in the Dharma

Dharma generally refers to the teachings of the Buddha. These teachings can take the form of oral teachings such as talks and lectures, or in written form. One of the commonly referenced written teachings on Buddhism is called the Dhammapada, made up of 423 verses that it is said, were told by the Buddha to his students.  I have a copy of this at home and sometimes I’ll open it up to a random page, read what is says, and contemplate how that applies to whatever situation that is monopolizing my thoughts at that moment. Here is a sample that I found leafing through my copy:

He is not righteous
Who judges a situation impulsively.
But whoever distinguishes between right and wrong,
That one is righteous.

Whoever leads others
Evenhandedly, but not by force,
Is a guardian of justice
And is called righteous.

A man is not considered wise
Because he talks a lot.
But he is secure and called wise
Who is free of hate and does no harm.

Taking refuge in the Dharma though, is about more than just listing to talks and/or reading books. To truly take refuge in these teachings is to truly study them and us them as a catalyst for good in your own life. What can you learn from these teachings, and perhaps more importantly, how can you apply those lessons into your own life in order to ease suffering and increase compassion? Shakyamuni Buddha made a point of sharing his knowledge freely with everyone – the rich, the poor, the young, the old, the sick, the outcast, the average Joe – with the intent of providing the tools with which anyone can pursue a more compassionate existence and ultimately, enlightenment.

I take Refuge in the Sangha

Sangha is a spiritual community, traditionally involving both monastics and laypeople. This can be a formal community like I find at my spiritual center, or at a church, temple, or mosque. Or it could be less formal. Perhaps you get together with a group of your friends every week and have in-depth conversations about the things that are important to you and provide comfort, support and celebration to each other. It’s a community of individuals who are all committed to becoming the best versions of themselves and provide support and encouragement to each other for the benefit of all.

To put it in the simplest terms possible, The Buddha is the guide, the Dharma is the path and the Sangha is the companions along the way. Take a few minutes and reflect on who is your spiritual role model. Is it Buddha or is there another name you’d rather replace it with? Where do you find your spiritual teachings and how can you apply them to your life? Is there a particular text that speaks to you? One that you hold sacred? How about your spiritual community, who makes up your Sangha? (and yes, if you need it to, your spiritual community can be online. I recommend having a physical group to gather with, but I know that’s not always possible, so find your community, where ever you can)

Now that you’ve taken some time to contemplate these three things, how do you feel? How does focusing your attention on these things that you hold sacred make you feel? If it brings you any amount of peace and comfort I invite you to make this a part of your daily practice. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but I think you’ll find that it helps you to keep your thoughts, words and deeds in alignment with the kind of person you want to be in the world.

Namaste my friends,

Jane

A little advice for an unknown path

I was meeting with friends this evening and one of them expressed some concern with regards to the organization where he works. There is change going on, as there often is in any organization at one time or another, and he is concerned due to his lack of knowing what the future holds yet having a strong desire to know exactly. The need to know. that’s something I am quite familiar with and have started writing a piece about. I’ll share it with you at a later date. In the meantime, this is the advice I came up with for him:

Often when we set sail we cannot see the distant shore. We must have faith in our ability to navigate, and in the winds of Grace to guide us. Raise your head and your sails high and be free.

I’m not sure that is as profound as I thought it was at the time, but it is good advice and in reflection I see how those sentences can be applied to so many situations. Including my current one with my personal life and with my job as well. Does it apply to anything in your life right now? Does it help, at least a little?

Peace.

Dealing with grief and miscarriage

I was taking my dog for a walk this afternoon and thinking of course about the recent miscarriage and grieving both that and possibly my fertility all together. I have not been taking this so well, although, I am quite surprised and pleased that I have not curled up and died of a broken heart. I have been convinced for years now that if it should come to this, that if I come to the end of this road with no child, that I would surely die. That it would be just too much to bear. But perhaps it’s not. Perhaps the struggles I’ve gone through in the past, the skills I’ve picked up along the way and the confidence that I have gained that I am strength itself, had prepared me to get myself through this too.

Please do not be mistaken, I am very much in the depths of grief, feeling all the emotions classically described as part of the process. I have felt them all, sometimes quite intensely, and some of them several times already. But on this walk with my mind ricocheting around inside my skull, one of the things that has been coming up during this process is the thought that I am not successful at being a human being. I was put on this earth to be a mother and I have been waiting since I was a small child for that to happen. So if it never happens, has my life been a huge waste? Have I been wasting oxygen all these years? I have been of no value to this planet and perhaps been a burden. Basically wallowing in unworthiness. But then a thought popped into my head – since everyone and everything is connected and made of the same stuff (see Rob Bell’s book “What we talk about when we talk about God” for more on this) and this which connects us is often labeled as God, therefore I am just as much a part of this God as anyone else, I can decide whether or not my life is successful. No one has more authority than me to make that call. I get to decide whether or not being able to pass on my genetic material defines my worth and I can quite easily decide that it most certainly does not. That was a very powerful realization.

I hope you too understand that nobody gets to define your worth for you. Do not give your power away like that. It is yours and it’s meant for you. Keep it. Give away your kindness, your love, hugs, smiles, old clothes. There are plenty of things that you can give away with great benefit to you and the recipient. But your power…that’s special to you. You get to keep it. You get to carry it in your heart and keep it with you always wherever you go. Wherever your journey takes you.

Let’s see where our journeys take us shall we?

Peace,
Jane