I think I’m flunking self-care these days. I thought I was taking care of myself but the frequency with which I’m getting upset, the shortness of my temper and the anxiety this new doctor’s office is causing me, are clear indications that I need to pay better attention to how I’m taking care of myself. Or perhaps, if I’m taking care of myself. I feel worn out. I feel like an old washcloth that’s been wrung out one too many times. (full disclosure – we also seem to be having a particularly difficult allergy season going on making it hard to breath and waking me up in the middle of the night. I’m sleeping with a box of tissue in the bed. I actually wondered what would happen if I put a tampon in my nose. I didn’t actually do it, but I sure thought about it. But I digress) Anyone who’s gone through the challenge of fertility issues knows the feeling. I’m heading toward the 2-year mark with 3 miscarriages, I’ve heard stories of people who’ve been at it for 6 years. One women I heard about had had 8 miscarriages. I have no idea where they’ve come up with the energy. Conversely, I know that I want to be a mom and I’ll find a way to make it happen whatever it takes. (Within legal limits of course.) So, I’m going to suck it up once again and find a way to keep this train moving.
I highly recommend making a list, as big of a list as you can possibly make, of all the different ways you can take care of yourself and recharge your batteries. Make it diverse, big things, little things, things that can be done in a moment or two and things that occupy hours. Be prepared for a variety of situations too, trust me on this. Meditation or going for a jog can be all well and good (and effective) but not things you can do if you’re about to have a meltdown while driving in rush hour traffic or in the middle of a staff meeting. Make a list and keep it handy. Put it in your purse or planner or phone, maybe all three. And while I’m at it, don’t wait till after you have a meltdown. Make a point to refer to the list every day and do something for you at least once a day. Schedule it in your day if you have to. Set a reminder on your phone. Ask a friend or family member to help keep you accountable for some you time. Make it a point and make it a priority. This is going to help us all get through these stressful times.
Good luck, be well, take three full deep breaths right now.
Jane