Monthly Archives: March 2017

Flunking Self-Care

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I think I’m flunking self-care these days. I thought I was taking care of myself but the frequency with which I’m getting upset, the shortness of my temper and the anxiety this new doctor’s office is causing me, are clear indications that I need to pay better attention to how I’m taking care of myself. Or perhaps, if I’m taking care of myself. I feel worn out. I feel like an old washcloth that’s been wrung out one too many times. (full disclosure – we also seem to be having a particularly difficult allergy season going on making it hard to breath and waking me up in the middle of the night. I’m sleeping with a box of tissue in the bed. I actually wondered what would happen if I put a tampon in my nose. I didn’t actually do it, but I sure thought about it. But I digress) Anyone who’s gone through the challenge of fertility issues knows the feeling. I’m heading toward the 2-year mark with 3 miscarriages, I’ve heard stories of people who’ve been at it for 6 years. One women I heard about had had 8 miscarriages. I have no idea where they’ve come up with the energy.  Conversely, I know that I want to be a mom and I’ll find a way to make it happen whatever it takes. (Within legal limits of course.) So, I’m going to suck it up once again and find a way to keep this train moving.

I highly recommend making a list, as big of a list as you can possibly make, of all the different ways you can take care of yourself and recharge your batteries. Make it diverse, big things, little things, things that can be done in a moment or two and things that occupy hours. Be prepared for a variety of situations too, trust me on this. Meditation or going for a jog can be all well and good (and effective) but not things you can do if you’re about to have a meltdown while driving in rush hour traffic or in the middle of a staff meeting. Make a list and keep it handy. Put it in your purse or planner or phone, maybe all three. And while I’m at it, don’t wait till after you have a meltdown. Make a point to refer to the list every day and do something for you at least once a day. Schedule it in your day if you have to. Set a reminder on your phone. Ask a friend or family member to help keep you accountable for some you time. Make it a point and make it a priority. This is going to help us all get through these stressful times.

Good luck, be well, take three full deep breaths right now.

Jane

 

How to survive daylight saving time.

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Ah, it’s that time of year again. Spring forward for Daylight Saving Time. Can someone explain to me how exactly we’re saving any daylight with this phenomenon? As the days have been getting longer, I’ve finally gotten to the point where the sun is coming up just shortly after I get out of bed. Now, with the time change I’m back to getting up more than an hour before the sun. I, in theory, assuming I actually get up when I’m supposed to instead of lingering in bed for as long as possible, will be just getting to work as the sun is coming up. Rather than getting a healthy dose of sunlight before spending my day in florescent jail, I’ll just get teased with the warm, inviting glow of our friend the sun.

To say that I’m not thrilled about this contrived clock shift would be an understatement, but I’ve decided that I won’t let it get the best of me this year. So, I’ve come up with five ways to cope and I think you’ll agree, thrive.

  1. Drink lots of water, just like when traveling across multiple time zones, staying hydrated helps your body make the adjustment. If that doesn’t work, drink your favorite cocktail repeatedly to take your mind off your misery add bonus – you’ll be a lot more fun for your friends and family than a grouchy, crabby-pants who leaves them longing for a bear abruptly awoken from hibernation.
  2. The week leading up to the fateful event, start setting your alarm a few minutes earlier each day to get gradually used to the change. Too late? No problem, take the week off work and start adjusting yourself this week. By the time you go back to work the following Monday, you’ll finally be caught up with your coworkers, at least on sleep. (Note: this will do nothing to improve the state of your inbox or the pile of forms stacked on your desk.)
  3. Purchase a second residence in the time zone to the left of yours. Simply move back and form every time the clock changes.
  4. Quit your day job and go to work for yourself, you make your own hours so screw the man and his clocks. (bonus points for joining a hippie compound) (bonus-bonus points for starting your own hippie compound)
  5. Caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine. Seriously you can’t get too much caffeine during this challenging time in your life. Not only will this magical alkaloid help you power through your week, it will also make you 10x more productive* allowing you impress the man tremendously by showing up all your coworkers for their amateur ways of dealing with this crisis.

*note: this isn’t actually a scientific fact, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. Maybe one of the many scientist who are about to lose their jobs under the current administration can work on this discovery from their soon to be built garage laboratory.

So there you have it, five sure fire ways to get through this predicament. Feel free to incorporate one or more of these strategies into your life too.

Cheers,
Jane

International Women’s Day and To Work or Not to Work

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Tomorrow is International Women’s Day, a day to acknowledge the efforts of so many before us and a call to carry-on the work for each other, as well as those yet to come. There has also been a call for a simultaneous Day without Women as a protest to call attention to women’s rights and the value of the work women provide. Well, that’s all well and good and it’s a lovely thought. I certainly want to rally with my sisters around the globe to demonstrate our value to those who have yet to see it and to show support and solidarity. However, I, like so many others, can’t afford to lose my job because of it. I don’t work for an employer that would support such a thing, although with so many women in our workforce I’m pretty sure if we boycotted work for a day it would shut things down. But we’re not, and if we tried I guarantee it won’t go well. At all. Especially if enough of us did it to actually disrupt things.

I have been struggling with this a little bit this week. Thinking that if I didn’t boycott work I was somehow be letting my sisters down, but I have to think beyond tomorrow. To the day after that, and the day after that. I need this job right now. I need this paycheck, my only paycheck, and I need the health insurance. Not surprisingly, this is the case for most women, so there isn’t going to be the kind of boycott I thought it was going to turn into. In fact, after a little internet searching, and texting my activist friends, very few women, even in the US, are in a position to make such a stand. There was an article from Seattle that went as far as calling this boycott an example of white privilege. I’m white, middle-class, with an advanced degree and I don’t even have that privilege. Now, most would be inclined at this point in an essay to sound the battle cry that this is why we must rally together and why the boycott is necessary. But is the boycott really the best way to advance equality? I think not.

One of my friends who I contacted tonight, isn’t boycotting because she worries about losing her job. She’s not boycotting because that would put her team, which comprises both men and women, in a really horrible position and they need the full team for tomorrow’s job. Her going to work tomorrow is a perfect example of equality and solidarity. She’s going to make a difference by leading by example. By being a positive influence on those around her, by showing the value of women in the workforce by actually doing the work. (and I know her so I know she does her job well) Isn’t this really the best way to show our value, to inspire others to achieve the goals we’ve achieved and hopefully push past them to achieve even higher goals? After reflecting on this as I write I now realize that the best way for me to help the cause, to move the boundaries, to encourage others, is to go to work tomorrow and make a point of demonstrating my value and in turn the value. To encourage, support, and bolster all my co-workers, regardless of gender or gender identity, and put energy and enthusiasm into them and our shared goals of making a positive impact on our community. Tomorrow I will celebrate International Women’s Day, I will wear a red scarf just like Susan B. Anthony and I will honor the efforts of women in the workforce while contributing my own. Gandhi said “be the change you wish to see in the word.” I wish to see compassion and cohesion. What about you? What are you doing for International Women’s Day? Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear what you’re doing and get some ideas for next year.

Peace,
Jane