I had a little scare earlier this past week. I got a text message from a bank telling me my account was frozen. I had that sinking feeling you get when you realize you’ve forgotten to pay a bill. But it was even worse, I didn’t remember even owing them any money. I didn’t remember having used that credit card, in fact, I didn’t even remember having that credit card. “oh crap!” I thought, “did I put some of the fertility expenses on that account and forgot?” I really didn’t think so, but things got a little squirrely and creative at one point. Or maybe there was an annual fee I’d forgotten about or something. After fretting about it all afternoon while at work, I tried to log in after dinner to find out what was going on, but I couldn’t log in, my password didn’t work. Password reset didn’t work because in order to get the password you have to give them your account number. I couldn’t find it. I hadn’t seen that credit card in who knows how long and I’d cut up all the cards long ago and I couldn’t find any paperwork, or emails from that bank in a very long time. So, I decided to just call them up. Turns out that that is the latest phishing scam, I hadn’t had an account with that bank in years. I hadn’t forgotten about any bills or payments. While that was a relief, it did make me realize that I have been far too lax with my finances. Yes, I was intentionally using denial to soften the blow of how much the fertility specialists were costing me for fear of letting money stand in my way of my life-long dream, but it was time to face facts and get a handle on my situation before I got myself into a hole I wasn’t going to know how to get out of. So, how much debt was I really in? I had no idea.

Because I had managed to spread things around a little, and I never looked at all of the accounts at once, it wasn’t too hard to stay in at least some degree of denial. I knew that the first thing I needed to do was look at all of my accounts and find out how much I owed each one. I also knew that I needed to make sure I was paying on time so I didn’t get any late fees and needlessly increase expenses. (not necessarily paying on time, also a tool for denial) so while I was looking at each account I looked at how much I owed, what the interest rate was, and when the next payment is due. Names, balances and rate all went into an Excel spreadsheet and the due dates were highlighted on my planner. Now, as much as I would like to, I can’t blame the doctors/facilities for all of my debt. I also have not been watching my budget and have been going out to eat, buying clothes & books, buying experiences – cause that’s the latest thing we’re being told is ok to spent money on. All these things add up to just over $18,000 in debt, and that’s after I drained about $9,000 out of my savings account last year. Crap. How did I let it get to this?

The debt unfortunately doesn’t stop there. I also still have student loan debt (I graduated 13 years ago, this spring) a car loan and a mortgage. Altogether, I’m looking at 6 figures of debt. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I only have one income right now and to be honest, with the current state of things in the US, I’m not sure how secure my job is for the next year or two. Yep, it’s definitely time to get a firm handle on the finances. I’ve finally started seeing the newest doctor so I have no idea how much more expense I might incur, but I know I can no longer make financial decisions without a clear plan. So, what is the plan you ask? Well the next step is setting up a budget and making sure I stick to it precisely. It’s not going to be easy, and I’m sure will require some practice to get used to living so lean once again but I’m absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to get this debt off my back. Step three, is going to be looking for extra ways to make some money, I can’t pick any extra hours at work, so I’m going to have to get a little creative.

So that is where I leave you for now friends, remember the moral of the story – Debt is not your friend. Our society has gotten brainwashed into believing that living off of credit is the American Way, but it is not, and it never was. So I encourage you to be brave, tally up your debt if you haven’t already done so and make a plan for how you too are going to ditch the debt. We’ll all sleep better at night for it.

Peace and love,
Jane

February 7^th is National Send a Card to a Friend Day, which is a perfect excuse to start making good on one of my 2017 goals of investing more effort into personal relationships. So, I’m not just sending a card to a friend, I’m sending out 11 cards to both friends and family. This is also excellent timing if I want to send Valentine’s Cards, which I do since I never sent any holiday cards this past December. It’s like a trifecta of good ideas in just one step.

While running errands last week I picked up a couple packages of Valentine’s Day cards that were pretty and elegant, and of course I couldn’t resist the red foil heart stickers hanging right next to them. For some of the cards I just put a personal note inside, this was for cards to people with whom I speak regularly. For others, I’ve hand-written a separate letter to put inside for those I haven’t written or spoken to in some time. I remember my grandmother being a prolific letter writer when I was a little girl and I remember thinking how special it was to get a hand-written letter from someone far, far away. Now, we have the internet and smartphones so it’s even easier to communicate with people but I find emails, texts and even social media to be lacking in the intimacy that comes from a person sitting down and taking the time to write a message with their own hands. It may not be something that you hang on the wall but they really are works of art created just for the recipient. So while my penmanship may leave a little (or a lot) to be desired, it brought up fun childhood memories for me and I hope will create some happy moments for the recipients

Do you have any relationships, friends you’ve fallen out of contact with, or distant relatives, that could benefit from a card or a letter? Why not give it a try? Even a quick little note could brighten someone’s day, including your own.

Have fun,

Jane